Sunday, September 9, 2012

Changing Seasons


I’ve been meaning to update our blog for sometime now.  To be honest, the only thing preventing me from doing so is sheer apathy and well, the hope of eventually having something worth sharing.  It turns out that I am still struggling with apathy daily and well, there hasn’t been much new to share and so I surrender. 

I am now two weeks into my last year of seminary.  In ways it feels good to be back in the academic world and in other ways not so much.  My mind feels so far, far away and my heart even further.  Someone asked me if I missed Guatemala.  My response, “Yeah, kind of.  I miss the culture, the flow of life, the people, our moto, the food, the cheap veggies and fruit, our old neighborhood pool, the mountains, the sunshine, and well, I guess about all of it.” 

The good news is, I feel that my relationship with God is growing immensely during this season of lament.  Unfortunately, I have been a cycle of many ups and downs over this past year but I have seen a change in my understanding of who God is.  Last year at this time, I felt a lot of anxiety and stress that I sought to fix myself.  This year, while I still feel a lot of anxiety and stress over the unknown, I am not as foolish to think that I can handle it all by myself.

God has shown Himself as a provider time and time again just within the last month and a half since I have been back.  It has caused me to think more than twice when I begin to doubt Him.  If you ask me how I am doing with everything, on the surface I may tell you I am struggling but if you ask me how I am doing deep down, I will tell you that I am confident that God is in control and that I know his plan is much better than any plan that I can conjure. 

There is one thing I know and one thing that I know will never change.  God is a faithful and loving God.  And so as I continue my journey through this season of lament, I take great hope in knowing that He hears my cries and that one day, this season too shall pass.

I want to quickly thank you all for your love and prayers!  Daniel and I appreciate the support more than you will ever know.  This week could potentially be a BIG week for us in regards to his visa.  We are to soon find out whether or not he got the expedite on his visa.  Please continue to keep us in your prayers, especially as we await the verdict on his case.  Thank you and God bless!

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