Home Sweet Home Manistee

Hi All,

    I AM BACK!!  I haven't blogged since January...whoops!  I have often thought about blogging but have been too lazy to do so.  So why start up again now?  Glad you asked.  Some of you have been asking me to post pictures of our new living conditions and so I thought I would do it through my blog.  

   For those of you who may not know, I recently got hired as the Youth Pastor of Faith Covenant Manistee in Michigan!!  I could not have asked for a better church and a better community to start anew with.  I officially begin on Tuesday, the 1st.  Daniel and I are beyond excited to call Manistee our home.  

    God has been sooo good to us!  This is the first time in our 20 months of marriage where we are finally living in our own space and house-like structure (well in a condo anyways...haha).  Can you believe it?  Even more exciting is the fact that I FINALLY got to take my wedding gifts out of their original boxes!!  It was like getting married all over again minus the dress, the ceremony, the party, the vows, rings, etc...  

   Anyways, here are the photos from the condo.  We feel really blessed to live here while we get settled.  Having Lake Michigan right out our backdoor doesn't hurt the situation either...at least until the lake effect hits us this winter.  Hope you enjoy the photos!

 Here's the outside of our condo: 82

 Our living room with a nice fireplace (decorated in Guatemala photos and paintings)

 Kitchen/home to all my new wedding gifts.

 I am in love with my Fiesta Ware!  And am looking to expand the collection...

 Dinning room with balcony.

 Milo's corner...which he just loves...NOT!

 Main floor bathroom.

 Third floor living room.

 Guest bedroom just for you!

 View of Lake Michigan from the upstairs balcony.

 Third floor bathroom.

Our bedroom with a door to another balcony.

    If you are wondering how I went from a main floor to a third floor, it's because I decided that the garage, storage room, and bathroom on the first floor weren't exciting enough to include a picture.  Thank you to everyone who helped us move in!  We had a wonderful welcome party/move-in help from the teens at FCC.  You all are awesome!  As for the rest of you, come visit us!!!  It's beautiful up here.  We feel blessed beyond what we deserve.  

Where are you?

Where are you?

This question is looming over me.   It comes from Genesis 3 in the Garden of Eden shortly after Adam and Eve sinned.  “Where are you?” ask God, not because he didn’t know where Adam and Eve were (that he knew well).  He took the initiative with Adam and Eve in effort to restore a right relationship with them.  God initiated.  God initiated because he cared.  He had every right to be angry.  He committed all of creation into the care of Adam and Eve.  He showed them great love and gave them great freedom.  But they disobeyed.  And yet God still loved them.  He initiated the conversation.  Where are you?

Where am I?  

Here I am God.  I am sitting on my “new” couch, in the middle of my redecorated living room, anxiously awaiting the arrival of my husband, the completion of my time here at seminary, and eagerly anticipating the future.  Here I am God.   I am yours.

I see the work that you are doing in my life and in the lives of my friends and family.  I even see the work that you are doing in the lives of complete strangers all over the world.  You have initiated a right relationship with each one of us but it is up to us to respond to your invitation.  

Here I am.

I am inspired by you; the way you love and the way you seek justice and mercy in a fallen and broken world.  You never give up.  You are relentless in your pursuit of me and of all of creation.  There is nowhere, no nook, no cranny, nowhere where you are not present.  You are right here with me in this room just like you are right there in the darkest places in this world.  

There is no need to return the favor; to ask you where you are because you Lord, are everywhere!  Help us to recognize your presence at all times, in all situations, and in all people.  Not one of us is lacking the imago dei; each and every one of us has been created in your image, male and female.  Help us to see the good in all people.  Teach us to love mercilessly at all times, in all situations, and all people.  

God initiated.  Where are you?

An Unwelcomed Dream

You know that feeling with life seems like a dream?  Not the kind of dream you fantasize about but the kind of dreaming where even though everything around you is real but it doesn’t seem real?  That is how my life feels.  All of it.  People often ask me what is like to be in a long distance marriage.  I am often quick to say that it’s not great but it could be worse and while that is true, I have also come to the realization that distance in a marriage for me has become so distant that it doesn’t even seem real.

When I began seminary, Daniel and I had just started “dating” or whatever you call it when you relationship is heavily dependent on technology.   Outside of phone conversations and Skype “dates” my life in all practicality was the same from day to day.  I did the seminary thing…I studied hard, met new people, spent hours upon hours in the library, and learned that the more I learn the more I realize I know next to nothing…that is what I call the seminary thing. 

Then, I moved to Guatemala and got married.  I no longer was single.  I no longer was surrounded by people that look like me, speak my language, eat the same foods I eat, drive the same way I do, etc.  My world and my life drastically changed.  I loved it.  I loved being married, eating new delicious foods, riding and driving our moped around, being called someone’s wife, working with the kids in the different villages, and making new friends.  I loved it all minus the heat.

And then, once again, I found myself back in seminary for my last year.  I am married but there are no signs of it in my day to day life outside of phone calls and the ring on my finger.  I know it in my heart and my head but yet there is still some disconnect.  It is as if I am living two lives.  My life here in seminary characterized by class, papers, reading, and singleness and my life in Guatemala which is characterized by marriage, moped rides, cheap and delicious fruits and vegetables, and everything else that accompanies a foreign culture.

I have spent hours begging and pleading for God to bring us back together again.  This is not how marriage should be.  My heart goes out to people who spend greater lengths of time apart than we have and for those who have lost loved ones.  While I may not completely understand your pain, I at least have a glimpse of it.  

I had high hopes of Daniel being here for Christmas but the closer Christmas comes the more and more I realize it will only be by a miracle that he will make it in time.  I believe in miracles.  I witness them all the time.  And so today, I continue to pray for a miracle.  I serve a great and mighty God who can do all things and so I put my faith in Him and trust that He will bring us back together and shatter this dream in which I find myself entrapped.

Reunited!!!

      I am writing this post from Guatemala.  It feels so good to be back, even the weather has welcomed me with grace and mercy.  To say that seeing Daniel at the airport was surreal is not adequate enough to describe the feeling I felt when he greeted me.  It felt both good and weird at the same time to finally see him face to face and not face to Skype.  In many ways, it is as if we have not skipped a beat.

        I am now on my 6^th of 12 days here.  Once again last night, I found myself begging for God’s mercy to be upon us.  It feels so right and so good to be together.  I cannot help but to long for the day that all of this distance stuff is once and for all behind us.  It seems as if the visa situation has reached stagnancy.   I often find myself so desperately longing for a more “normal” life…for Daniel and I to actually live together in the same country, town, and house, to have all of our belongings in one location, for us both to be employed, and for us to tackle my student loans dollar by dollar until they no longer exist. 

        Life seems so much up in the air.  I am ready for consistency in my life.  I am ready to have my family together once and for all.  May God’s grace and mercy be upon us and in our impatience may we be forgiven when we fail to trust His plans for us.   

GOOD NEWS!!! GREAT NEWS!!!

Quick update…as most of you probably heard me shouting from my apartment building yesterday late afternoon, we got the expedite request for Daniel’s visa!  I wish you could all understand just how much of a miracle this news really is.  Ever since we began talk of filing the petition to get him here sooner, people would ask what our odds are.  Not to be dramatic, but literally, all odds were against us, except for one…GOD!

Words cannot describe the feelings that circulated through my head and heart when I read the words in an email.   I have been enduring a season of great lament over the last several weeks, which has resulted in lots of praying, begging, and pleading with God.  My spiritual life has never had such an emotional connect as it has lately.

The second I read the words on the computer screen, I literally fell to the ground, sobbing and repeating the words, “Thank you Jesus” over and over again.  It was in that moment as I lay on the floor in complete surrender to God that I realized the impact of having a God who hears our cries.  Never before have I ever prayed so diligently and religiously for one specific outcome as I have with this petition.   And while this is merely just a stepping stone in regards to the actual process of approval and entry, I take great hope in knowing that God is rooting for us.

I finally know what it feels like to have the same plan that God has for me and all I can say is that it feels great!  I hope that this personal testimony does not bring about false understanding of how prayer and petition works but that it speaks breath and life into the mystery of a God who hears our cries.  “The Lord is my Shepherd, I have all I need” –Psalm 23:1.

Next step:  Wait to receive our second Notice of Action at which point they will either approve or ask for further evidence.  According to the online tracker, they are seeking more evidence.  We are waiting for the official letter to solidify that.  We are unsure of the actual time frame as there are still many unknowns.  The reason the expedite is so exciting is that instead of having to wait until December or January to have our case reviewed, our case is being reviewed immediately!  Praise God.  Please keep us in your prayers as there are still many hoops to jump through. 

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for your love and support!

Changing Seasons

I’ve been meaning to update our blog for sometime now.  To be honest, the only thing preventing me from doing so is sheer apathy and well, the hope of eventually having something worth sharing.  It turns out that I am still struggling with apathy daily and well, there hasn’t been much new to share and so I surrender. 

I am now two weeks into my last year of seminary.  In ways it feels good to be back in the academic world and in other ways not so much.  My mind feels so far, far away and my heart even further.  Someone asked me if I missed Guatemala.  My response, “Yeah, kind of.  I miss the culture, the flow of life, the people, our moto, the food, the cheap veggies and fruit, our old neighborhood pool, the mountains, the sunshine, and well, I guess about all of it.” 

The good news is, I feel that my relationship with God is growing immensely during this season of lament.  Unfortunately, I have been a cycle of many ups and downs over this past year but I have seen a change in my understanding of who God is.  Last year at this time, I felt a lot of anxiety and stress that I sought to fix myself.  This year, while I still feel a lot of anxiety and stress over the unknown, I am not as foolish to think that I can handle it all by myself.

God has shown Himself as a provider time and time again just within the last month and a half since I have been back.  It has caused me to think more than twice when I begin to doubt Him.  If you ask me how I am doing with everything, on the surface I may tell you I am struggling but if you ask me how I am doing deep down, I will tell you that I am confident that God is in control and that I know his plan is much better than any plan that I can conjure. 

There is one thing I know and one thing that I know will never change.  God is a faithful and loving God.  And so as I continue my journey through this season of lament, I take great hope in knowing that He hears my cries and that one day, this season too shall pass.

I want to quickly thank you all for your love and prayers!  Daniel and I appreciate the support more than you will ever know.  This week could potentially be a BIG week for us in regards to his visa.  We are to soon find out whether or not he got the expedite on his visa.  Please continue to keep us in your prayers, especially as we await the verdict on his case.  Thank you and God bless!

A Reflection on Psalm 23

The Lord is my Shepherd.

        Guide me and lead me.

I shall not be in want.

        I have all I’ve ever needed.

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

        In the stillness You are there.

He leads me beside quiet waters.

        Restoration and rejuvenation are upon me .

He restores my soul.

        Thank you for Your grace and mercy.

He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.

        Give me strength and teach me obedience so that I may follow.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death:

        Lord, You never give up on me.

I will fear no evil, for you with me:

        May Your voice reign above all.

Your rod and your staff; they comfort me:

        Into Your hands I commit my life.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies:

        Discipline me to love like you.

You anoint my head with oil:

        Here I am Father, send me!

My cup overflows:

        You know exactly what I need, when I need it.

Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life:

        Pour down on me.

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever:

        Life everlasting; the victory is mine! Amen.