Living in Tension

     I really think God is after my attention.  I know I have said that in previous post, but I am telling you, He really is after my heart.  It’s not that He fell out of my heart and now He is trying to enter back in; it’s more like He is still in my heart only buried deep and now He is fighting to regain His status in my life.  I am living in a tension, which I will soon explain but let me first tell you this…

     Months before Daniel and I got married, we had decided that we would do a daily morning devotion together as a way to help us keep God at the center of our relationship.  We decided that we would start the first week back from our honeymoon.  As of today, we have been married for almost two months and today was only our second day of doing devotions together.  To some that may seem like a long time and to others that may not seem bad at all but the problem is, if we do not discipline ourselves now, it will only become that much more difficult to do later.

     We are reading My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers.  Today’s devotion started with the following sentence:

Daydreaming about something in order to do it properly is right,

but daydreaming about it when we should be doing it is wrong.

This sentence is based on the passage found in John 14 when Jesus promises the Holy Spirit to be upon those who obey his command. 

“Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. 

He who loves me will be loved by my Father,

 and I too will love him and show myself to him.

He who does not love, will not obey my teachings.” – John 14:21 & 24

When Daniel read that first sentence, I thought to myself, “Here we go, another devotion that I could care less about” (I am just being honest).  When he finished reading, I looked up the context of John 14:31 which was the verse chosen for this particular devotion (“Arise, let us go from here”).  And BAM; it was like a smack in the face or should I say another encounter with God. 

     I will leave you with my confession and my confession is this: I find myself living in a tension.  A part of me longs so bad to have a real, living relationship with God, one much like the people whom I am surrounded by here in Guatemala.  And the other part of me does not care to spend the time and energy it takes to pursue God.  I long to have power in my prayer.  I long to be in sync with the desires of God’s heart.  And I long to understand the plans that God has for and for Daniel.  But the truth is, I do nothing to obtain such desires.  So my question to myself is this, do I really love God?  Am I really being obedient?  The passage in John makes it clear that you are either obedient or you are not; you either love God or you do not.  Where o where is my allegiance?

Seeing things I have never seen before...

Greetings friends and fellow readers,

     Life has finally started to slow down, at least for the next few weeks and for this, I am grateful.   We have had a steady flow of amazing teams from the States come join us in the ministry.  I have met several wonderful people who are passionate about serving God’s children.   This past week, we had a team from South Carolina come host Vacation Bible School (VBS) for the children in Nueva Esperanza.  It didn’t take long for everyone to fall in love with those children.

    This past week has been quite an adventure, filled with many ups and downs.  On the ministry side of things, God is doing big and great things.  Last Sunday, we, including the South Carolina team, joined the village of Naranjo for morning worship.  Following Pastor Jason’s sermon (from S.C.), the congregation was invited to come forward to receive prayer from all of us.   Many people came forward that day and a handful became born again!

     During the time of prayer, I witnessed something that I have never personally witnessed before.  A young female, probably in her late teens, came forward.  It quickly became evident that the young woman had been possessed by a demon.  A Guatemalan pastor lead in prayer as people gathered around her.   After the course of several minutes the demon was cast out and the young woman fell to the ground.  Words cannot describe what it felt like for me to witness such a thing.  I am aware of demon possession and that it is not something that just occurred during Jesus’ ministry, but to see it for myself was a whole other encounter. 

     The pastor who prayed over the young woman has on many occasions has prayed life back into dead bodies.  I am not talking about someone who lost their heart rate and very breath for a few minutes, but people who have been dead for days.  He was in a terrible car accident about 6 months ago and was not expected to walk out of the hospital.  After several days of constant prayer and motivation, he was healed and now, he goes around preaching the gospel to all who has ears.   I am humbled by his faith.

      When I think about the prayer life and devotion of those around me, I stand in awe over their reverence for the Lord.  Where is my reverence for the Lord?  Where is my devotion?  When will I ever stop making excuses?  As mentioned in my last entry, I feel like God is trying to chip away at the many layers I have built over my heart. 

      I wish to do a better job at portraying all that is going on in my everyday life and in my head and heart but if I am being honest, my thoughts are so scattered.  There is much to digest here.  I want to thank all of you who have been praying for Daniel and I.  We greatly appreciate it.

We love and miss you all!

Playing the hand game "Bow-Bow-Ski Whaton Taton"

Performing a skit for the kids at the feeding center in Pacren

Just a shot of a house and a family along the route.

Daniel with our three little amigos in Tizemarte (I would love to adopt them)

Daniel translating for Sunday Morning worship.  This is the guy that has raised people from the dead!

VBS.  The story of Peter and the fish.

Meal time in Nueva Esperanza

My sweet, sweet buddy Samuel whom I would also like to adopt...too bad its not an option.

God at Work

Two weeks ago I received an email from a professor encouraging me to take a class on writing for publication; I got so excited that I forgot to write since then.  So please forgive me for not updating my blog for those of you who actually take the time to read it.   There is much to share as God has been doing many things both big and small.  I cannot even begin to tell you how great it feels to be back in ministry.  I am so blessed to work with Marla, Larry, and the rest of the gang here at Flames of Fire.  I feel as if my eyes are being re-opened to the world around me and to the greatness of our God.  To be honest, my faith journey has taken me on several twist, turns, hills, and flat lands over the course of the last couple of months.  I feel that God is trying to awaken me once.   I have been lazy. 

Last week, Teryl, a woman from the medical team, shared Deut. 31:6 with us one morning:

“Be strong and courageous. 

Do not be afraid, for the Lord your God goes with you;

he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

This verse has been circling in my head over the last several days.  I am eagerly anticipating its complications for my life as I am sure that God has something in store for me.

I want to share a few snapshots of different things have seen/experienced in the last three weeks.

1.       While Daniel and I were out delivery food to the feeding centers, we stopped by a family’s house to take pictures of their living quarters.  This family is being taken into consideration for receiving a new house.  While taking pictures, I quickly realized that my camera cost at least two to three times the amount that their house is worth.  I immediately felt embarrassed (I am still trying to digest this experience).

2.       We had 15 Guatemalan Bible school students here for a week long course.  They spent the week learning about prayer.  The students were and still are required to keep a daily prayer journal.  When was the last time I spent any significant amount of time in prayer?   I feel convicted yet I have yet to attend to that conviction.

3.       Last week, we had a medical team of 8 people from Oregon join us.  During their time here, we hosted 5 medical clinics, each one in a different mountain village.  Over the course of the 5 days, we saw over 650 patients, handed out thousands of pills, vitamins, and several pairs of glasses, and most importantly, witnessed approximately 20 people respond to the good news of the Gospel for the first time!   God is good and God is at work, even when we do not realize it.

4.       As mentioned, I am struggling with a conviction of prayer and have been for some time now.  I am trying to understand prayer and all that it entails.  I read an article this fall by Walter Wink.  It was a compelling article.  It challenged me to re-think about the power of prayer.  Daniel and I were once again out delivering food the other day when the truck started to act up on us.  Being stubborn, it refused to start.  As I sat in the driver’s seat and Daniel tinkering with the battery connection, I proactively prayed that the truck would start.  It didn’t.  I continued to pray.  The truck continued to be stubborn.  I then began to pray in the name of Jesus.  The truck started.  I also am still digesting but I think that God is trying to teach me something about prayer…

This post is getting longer than I anticipated and for that I am sorry.  I just wanted to make sure to share before these sorts of things escape my mind.  But while I am talking about prayer, I do ask for anyone and everyone who is willing to keep Daniel’s interview for his visa in your prayers.  His interview is scheduled for 11 a.m. on Valentine’s Day.  We are confident that God is in control but also covet your prayers!  I pray that you are blessed this day.

Love,

Los Portillos

Women waiting to see the nurses.

Don cut Daniel's in-grown toenail out!  It was HUGE!

Ana translating for Marilee in the Pharmacy.

Doctora Pagina doing her thing.

Daniel translated for the nurse Teryl all week.

Teryl at work.

I worked in the Pharmacy all week with Ana and Marilee...it was AWESOME!

Thank you so much team Oregon! You guys were wonderful!!

I got pulled to the middle to dance after our wonderful dinner in Antigua.

P.S. I, Julie, am the most stress-free that I have been in years and it feels great!  In the words of Daniel, “Tanks God!”